When you notice…

To the mother of my daughters friend:
You are also a friend to me!  When I only had one child, it never really mattered. I never knew!! I just wanted to be the Perfect Mother!  I didn’t notice that I needed time for myself, or that there would be times I would have to ask for help! I didn’t notice that I needed a support system. A person I could call on if I’m running late to after-school,  or if my daughter needed a ride to soccer or basketball pratice!  It didn’t dawn on me that not only did these support systems exsist,  but that I could be a part of one!  
Becoming a Mother of two, I started to notice! You helped me notice it was okay to let my daughter go on Vacation with a trusted family,  instead of only being the parents that would allow other kids to join in on our family events!  I noticed not only is it okay to have the need to reach out for help,  it’s okay to ask!
It was amazing for me to feel I  had someone I could call on, that not only did I trust, but knew we would would work together!  Even if we had to pull the Misters on board!  There was a time when I ran late to after school,  and although you weren’t able to,  you graciously called your husband who picked up my daughter with yours!  My husband the same! Sometimes we even seem to know what the other needed, without asking.  Like your first day back to work,  sitting in the car at soccer pratice with the baby, I called you from the field and told you to go home!
Or the time  you insisted I bring  my baby to the sleepover,  after our full day at the waterpark !  When our girls had an invite to an outdoor Ice skating event , in the Winter, far away, (driving far is torture for me!), you graciously took the girls and your baby stayed here, indoors with me! When you brought my daughter home , I was honored to have you leave both your girls here to have a date night!  When I was in the hospital,  you took care of both my children and made sure they were both calm about the emergency!  When you invited my daughter to your baby shower out of town,  I never knew I would be honored to let her go with you on Mother’s day weekend!   Now, not only does my baby says your daughter is her big sister too,  she also says she is a Big Sister to your baby! ♡♡♡

I also didn’t notice that sometimes it was okay to just let things happen.  For me, it all had to be planned in order for things to work out!   That sometimes you don’t have to stress over things, that as long as everyone was okay at the end of the day, it would all work out! 
I finally noticed that I didn’t have to be a “Perfect Mother ” and even if I wasn’t,  my kids would still turn out fine! 

Thank you for helping me notice! !

*Mommy from MommyAndMinime@wordpress.com

Sometimes, it hurts to remember








Mommy:  It’s  been a year, yet it seems like yesterday!  I still can’t believe you are  not here. There were times when I would  drive pass your house just to feel you,  a few times I even sat in your chair on the porch. Now, that’s even to hard to do!  The times I dialed your number hoping to hear your voice, because it’s to hard to delete your number from my contacts.  The times I pick my children up on a Friday,  thinking we are coming to see you, because that’s what we did! 
What  if my daughter never got sick that day, and had to stay home from camp? They wouldn’t have that last day with you. What if you didn’t cook dinner when they were with you that day? We wouldn’t have had our last meal from you, Pork chops and beans!  The day I took off  work early to take my daughter to get her ears pierced in the rain, what if she didn’t change her mind as she was in the piercing chair? I would not still have your words of wisdom with me until this very day! That’s she will do it when she is ready, that’s it’s her body and she should always have control over it!  What if I had not missed your return call when you called the girls back? I would not have the message you left them with your voice, speaking directly to them, even saying there name!   When they asked to come see you that fateful night and  although I  said yes,  for some reason I still kept straight!  What if I had made the right turn to your house?  Maybe I would have found you  instead, with your babies and that’s not what you would have wanted!  What if me and my husband never had adjustment issues the very first year of our marriage?  You would have never been able to tell me, “Anything worth having Is worth fighting for!”  What if we hadn’t meet and married so young?  I wouldn’t have been so blessed to have you in my life all those years!  What if we never picked you up on weekends, and during the  storms when we made you stay with us?  Even though you were here fussing at us, we wouldn’t have all those memories! 

Adjusting to life without you has been the hardest thing to do!  I think of you often! It helps to have so many memories but at the same time it hurts so much to recall them! There are times when we wish we would have done things  differently in life, or things would have worked out a certain way! I’m going to choose to believe things went just the way they were supposed to,  leaving me with pieces of you I will cherish for eternity!♡♡♡♡♡

Minime: Today is the day you left us, a year ago. Even though it feels like yesterday. I try to remember you in the easiest ways I can, but without making myself sad. I kept a few things from your house. The dress I always would wear when I slept over. It still carried your scent, but after a few washes, it was gone. But that was okay, I had a book from your dresser, as well as the watch you would always wear. One night I asked my dad if I could have the book that was in your room. He asked what book? So, after a few minutes of begging him to take me to your house. I went straight to your room and grabbed the book. The title said, “Is this life all there is?” After we went back home we all laid in my parents bed, and I showed my dad the book. It had chapters that were titled, “Should I fear the dead?” or “Can I talk to the dead?” and it talked about Heaven and God. My dad feels that you had wanted me to have the book.

I think about how this effects my sister, she knew you for only three years, and I’m happy she was born before you passed but I worry she won’t remember. Maybe a month after it happened she would always talk about you, she didn’t know it made me sad. I told my parents that I wanted her to stop talking about you,and I wanted her to forget. I was only thinking about myself, my sister has every right to remember her grandma. What if she hadn’t been thought about until three years prior to your passing? We would have to live with the guilt of knowing we had our time with you, and her never have getting her chance. We thank you for your time, love, and happiness. We will see you again, if we continue on the right journey.

“Without you, I feel broke. Like I’m half of a whole. Without you, I’ve got no hand to hold. Without you, I feel torn. Like a snail in a storm. Without you, I’m just a sad song. I’m just a sad song.” – We the kings and Elena Coats.

When there’s a Baby in Heaven

  • Photo_2016-10-14_01-02-13_AM.pngYMommy: This Morning, when my Husband wished me Happy Mothers Day,  he gave me a kiss for each of our Daughters. Then he gave me an extra kiss. He said it was for our Baby  in Heaven♡♡♡
    That we lost in November!  He reminded me that our baby was in Heaven being looked after by his mom, who we sadly  had already lost in July . It felt so wonderful to have him acknowledge our Baby, that I would have loved to be a part of our family,  yet always will be!

MiniMe: um..Well I Wasn’t Happy about losing a sibling but…I have no choice over it. I like how my parents are trying to remember  it but sometimes  I don’t want to hear them talk about because I get sad and nobody likes being sad..well..I don’t know,some people don’t. I’m happy that the baby is with my grandmother because my granny is awesome and she was most likely fussing and saying that we ain’t need another kid in this family. But I’m also jealous because he’s probably eating her cooking. And yes, I think the baby was a boy because..just because. And if it was actually a girl then my bad, I’m sorry.

Being A Mother

Being a Mother  to three beautiful daughter has been the Most fulfilling of Life events! my first came to me as a Miracle, already there waiting to bless me! Becoming a Mother instantly while becoming married would shape the woman I was about to become , and define my commitment to Motherhood. Looking back, and seeing how much of a Blessing this was, I wouldn’t have it any other way! She was my Bonus Daughter!

My next two, are Rainbow Babies, and each with A Miracle story of there own!
My first Birth Daughter I was told would never exsist! But Like Hannah  in 1 Samuel,  I would pray and ask God to remember me and show me Favor and Grace.  The WORD would Over come  the WORLD and Soon  enough, and in God’s timing,  7 years later, my Hannah would be born!
Hannah grew up knowing the testament that is her life story, and wanting another sibling, she would ask God for the desires of her heart! Eight years later, her Miracle would arrive in her Baby Sister, Hailee! 
Having my daughters, and knowing that they are all Blessing and Miracles has made Motherhood so much more rewarding!  It’s never been something I HAVE to do, it’s always been something I GET to do!
I am blessed and Thankful that God choose me to be the overseers of such amazing and brilliant beings and have made it my life’s business to me the best at it!
Happy Mothers Day!